Secret Underground Lair

Following the recent fire at Vice President Dick Cheney’s suite of offices in the historic Eisenhower Executive Office Building next to the White House, I dispatched a Chronautical Observation Drone (COD) back in time to record the details of the event.

Historical observation is standard procedure for most Omega-Class super-villains like myself. We just like to stay informed of current and past events. It also helps to prevent any interference in the time stream, because of multiple occurrences of the observer effect.

Due to a faulty nano-processor, I was unable to retrieve any video transmission, but here is a transcription of the audio right before the explosion.

UNIDENTIFIED INDIVIDUAL: I can do anything you can do, only betta.

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: No, ya can’t!

UNIDENTIFIED INDIVIDUAL: Yes, I can!

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Okay then, can ya play a piana?

UNIDENTIFIED INDIVIDUAL: Have ya got a piana?

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Shore have! Wait right here varmit and I’ll get’cha one in a jiffy.

[Sound of exit music]

(Vice President Cheney laughs.)

[Sound of entrance music]

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: There’s yer piana rabbitt! Now let’s see ya play it!

[Sound of exit music]

[Sound of the tune “Endearing Young Charms” being played slowly and badly on the piano.]

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: No! That’s not it! Try it again!

[Sound of the tune “Endearing Young Charms” being played slowly and badly on the piano.]

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY: Ooh ya stupid rabbitt! Like this!

[Sound of the tune “Endearing Young Charms” being played quickly and accurately on the piano.]

[Sound of explosion]

The only “Rabbitt” that I can find any reference to would be New York Assemblywoman Annie Rabbitt; however, the voice data does not provide a positive match.

Evidence suggests that this “Rabbitt” escaped without injury.

Posted on December 22nd, 2007 by Destructo, Evil Genius
Filed under: Villainous News